Rainbows and Razorblades
by GlammyGlamm
Summary: Katniss thinks she's lost all hope for happiness and is prepared to give up...until she meets Peeta. AU Modern Day. First story. Be nice :) rated M for self harm/light abuse/possible lemon *Trigger Warning*
1. Chapter 1

**Hello Ladies and Gentleman! This is my very first fanfiction EVER so all I ask is that you be nice when you reveiw...because I know that all of you lovely readers are going to hit that little button at the bottom of the screen ;) **

**Anyway! I've had this little beauty swimming around in my head for a while now...I know its short...buuuuut if you like it, guess what...theres more! yay! **

**ENJOY!**

School. It's the bane of my existence. Torture in its purest form. My own personal hell filled with polo and Abercrombie clad demons. Seven hours of darkness with a small speck of dim light in the middle. That dim light being lunch where there are so many people I can go unnoticed by the majority of them. Unfortunately to reach my safe haven –my lunch spot- I must pass the pit where the leader of the demons resides.

Glimmer.

She is a beauty…on the outside. Perfect golden hair curled in ringlets to frame her high cheekbones and blue eyes.

On the inside however, she is a beast. She ridicules, belittles, and condemns all those deemed 'weird' or 'freakish' by the posh society. And for some reason I'm her 'favorite freak' so to speak. I always end up the butt of her jokes. I'm sure today will be no different.

I enter the lunchroom and tighten my grip on my backpack straps and duck my head using my hair as a curtain to hide my face from the rest of the student body. I take a deep breath and stare at my feet as they begin to move at a quickening pace. I will myself invisible and pray to God as I concentrate on counting my footsteps and not on the people that snicker as I walk past.

I weave as inconspicuously as possible through the tables. My stomach turns as I near where Glimmer sits. I hold my breath and move faster, hoping desperately for one day without any public humiliation.

And for a moment I think my hopes will be realized.

But all high hopes come crashing down when a perfectly pedicured foot suddenly comes into view. The next few moments seem to move in slow motion as I fall face first onto the cold linoleum floor. I let out a cry of pain when my face makes contact. The rest of my body follows, and I crumple in a heap in the middle of the floor. For a moment all I hear is my own breathing. Then other sounds begin to filter through and I hear hushed whispers scattered across the room.

I just want to disappear.


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! I didn't expect to have reads an reviews after only a couple days! I'm glad you guys like it! Well all my lovelies I don't have an 'update schedule' buuuut it shouldn't be that long between them...as long as I get some reviews ;)**

The sound of heels clicking catches my attention and I turn myself over to face the person approaching. I groan inwardly. _Oh God._

Glimmer.

I look her in the eye and my humiliation increases tenfold. I know all eyes are on us. Waiting to see what happens next. Watching like a crowd of Romans in a coliseum, and waiting eagerly to see the blood splatter.

"Got a little something on your face there Everdeen...oh wait, that's just your crater sized pores," she giggles innocently, "my mistake…"

A flood of laughter fills my ears and my eyes begin pricking with tears. I choke them back and try to swallow the lump in my throat. Glimmer just smiles a sickly sweet smile and inspects her claw-like French tips.

"Tell me Katniss are all freaks this clumsy, or are you just special?"

More laughter.

"You must be special to dress the way you do…special in the head that is."

This time there are 'ooohs' and 'burns' scattered amongst the laughter. I drop my gaze and a stray tear spills over. I sniff and immediately wipe my eye with the back of my hand.

"And speaking of heads, yours looks like a bag of skittles," she chuckles under her breath, "taste the rainbow- hmmm, I like the sound of that, its catchy. What do you guys think?" she looks around, and asks for approval. She gets the answer she's looking for when the crowd responds with woops and yeahs. She turns back to me with another signature sickly sweet smile, "So there you have it…Rainbow." At this she snickers. I on the other hand stare at her wide eyed as a mixture of anger and sadness course through my veins. I can't decide whether I want to pounce at Glimmer and claw her pretty blue eyes out, or cry.

I being the weakling that I am, cry.

Why did this new nickname hurt worse than the others that have been bestowed upon me? Its because its not the first time someone gave me that nickname. My dad used to call me Rainbow, before he died.

When I was younger skittles were my favorite. My dad and I got a bag every Saturday morning. One day when I smiled up at him with a mouth full of skittles he laughed and ruffled my hair, and he told me that if I kept eating so many skittles my skin would turn the colors of the rainbow. The name kind of stuck.

When my dad died I 'hit a bit of a rebellious streak' as my mom called it. I dyed my hair. Not one color, but seven. I dyed my hair an entire rainbow of colors including blue, pink, orange, purple, yellow, green, and black. Yes I know that black is not your normal cheerful rainbow color , but I'm not your normal cheerful person. My mom was furious at me. She kept telling me how I had 'ruined my pretty brown hair.' I didn't care. Dad would have liked it.

"What's wrong Rainbow? Don't like your new nickname?"

I curl myself into a ball and focus on my breathing. Glimmer is too busy making comments about my clothes, or my hair, or how clumsy I am to notice me trying to tune her out.

Trying. But not succeeding.

I can still hear every cruel word that leaves her lips. I can hear the laughter that follows every stab. I squeeze my eyes shut so tight that I see stars behind my eyelids. My breathing is uneven. I'm shaking with rage and humiliation.

I jump and my eyes shoot open when a long stick lands in my lap –a stick that turns out to be a mop– and I look at Glimmer questioningly. She huffs and repeats herself as if she is talking to a young child or a person who doesn't speak English.

"I said," she points to her eye and makes a talking motion with her hand, "you need to clean up your mess."

I search the floor around me. I didn't have a lunch tray in my hands when I fell. There is no mess besides a few stray papers from my backpack. I wonder what game Talia is playing now…and that's when it hits me –no, not a realization– a giant glop of strawberry smoothie. Once the entire smoothie has been successfully poured on my bottom half a fresh round of laughter erupts across the room.

The laughter is cut short by a loud bang and a 'hey' shouted across the room. Nearly everyone turns to look at the source of the disruption.

Its Prim.

Prim is my best friend. She's the only person I have left cheering for me in my life. It doesn't matter the situation. Prim always stands beside me. It doesn't matter how much I want to give up. She won't let me.

And now Prim is storming through the crowd of people, her petite form rigid, her blue eyes blazing, with rage clearly etched across her face.

Glimmer on the other hand rolls her eyes and huffs, "What do you want Hawthorne?"

Prim's reply is matter of fact and laced with anger, "I want you to get a life and leave my best friend alone."

Prim bends down on my level and smiles warmly at me. She puts a hand on my shoulder and nods towards the door, "C'mon, lets see if we cant get you cleaned up."

She grabs my hand and helps me up. I glance at Glimmer. She has a scowl on her face and she practically spits her reply, "Why should I?"

Prim's reply stuns everyone in the room. She turns around and plasters the fakest smile she can muster, and speaks with a squeaky valley girl accent.

"Because being a coldhearted bitch is _so _last season!"

With that her smile drops and her face once again contorts into a hard scowl. Prim's eyes are cold and Glimmer's gaze falters. We stand like that for a while. It turns into a stare down between the two. The room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. After a moment Glimmer's eyes brighten with malice.

"You know Prim, why are you even friends with a freak like Katniss? You have so much potential. Too bad you waste it on social outcasts like that." Her words spat out of her mouth, stinging like drops of acid.

"Go to hell Glimmer." and with that Prim turns on her heels and marches out of the cafeteria with me scurrying behind her. We walk in silence for a while until we reach the nurses office. Prim knocks on the door and a few moments later we see a bright pair of green eyes peek through the blinds. There is the sound of locks unlocking seconds before the door swings open and we're being bustled in by Mrs. Rue the school nurse.

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	3. Chapter 3

***holds up hands in surrender* Dont shoot! haha I know some of you arent particularly happy that Prim is the best friend instead of the sister. I'm sorry. But it worked out better that way. Sooo in this story Prim is not an Everdeen. She is a Hawthorne. Once again, Dont shoot. haha.**

**And as for Katniss having blonde hair. That was due to poor proof reading. It was a typo. But it is now fixed :) I happen to love brunette Katniss.**

**Now...On with the story! I hope you enjoy :)**

"Oh my dear, what was it this time?" I motion to the big pink stain on my lap and her eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Oh my, let me go see what I can do." I watch her walk through another door and I go sit on the little cot on the other side of the room.

I stare at a band-aid wrapper on the floor and play with my shirt tail. Neither I nor Prim say anything. She just stares blankly at her sandals and kicks around a bead that somehow ended up on the floor, we're both trying to avoid an inevitable conversation. A conversation we've had many times before.

I feel the cot shift and I know without looking that it's Prim. I also know the exact words about to come out of her mouth.

"You know it's not true right?"

"Yes it is." I don't need to ask what she's talking about. Like I said we've had this conversation many times before.

"No it's not."

"Yes. It is."

"No it's not Katniss!" She stands up and throws her hands in the air. "Dammit! How many times do we have to go over this! You have been my best friend since the fifth grade and nothing is going to change that." She gets on her knee in front of me and points her finger directly at my face. "Now you listen to me, and you listen well. You know how much I hate having to repeat myself. I don't care about designer clothes, chic haircuts, or how anorexic you are. You are a better person that any of them will ever even hope to be, and a hell of a lot stronger. As for your looks...Katniss you are gorgeous. You have curves a lot of women pay a lot of good money for." She smiles at me and shrugs. "Face it sister, were best friends. You are stuck with me until either you or I kick the bucket. Actually no, because when I die I'm gonna posses your ass long enough to get you in some clothes that show off what your momma gave you!" at that, I can't help but laugh. She smiles and holds out her hand. "Now dry your eyes and help me off the floor."

I wipe my eyes and grab her hand. About half way up Prim gasps and collapses onto the cot. She's curled up into the fetal position, and her knuckles are white with strain as she grips her leg closer to her body.

"Oh my God. Prim are you ok? What happened?!" I sit beside her on the cot and put my hands out, trying to help anyway I can. She takes a deep and holds up her hand.

"Yea I'm fine." She slowly uncurls her body so that she is laying limply on the cot, her legs hanging off. "I've just been getting these pains in my shins lately. Coach thinks its shin splints." She sits up and pulls one of her legs up against her chest, rubbing her hand up and down her shin. She looks a bit…off. "I'm going to the doctor tomorrow for an x-ray." I nod and sit beside her on the cot just as Mrs. Rue comes in with an armful of clothes.

"I found these in the lost and found; they should be about your size…now there is plenty here to choose from so take your time, I'll write you a note for your next class." She smiles brightly and takes Prim's seat beside me while Prim rummages through the pile. Her bright smile fades into a warm maternal grin and she puts her hand on top of mine, forcing me to look her in the eye. "Sweetie, I can't apologize enough for the way Glimmer has been acting. My mother would roll over in her grave if she could see the way her and her mother treat people. My sister was not raised like that." Oh yea, I forgot to mention one tiny detail. Glimmer is Mrs. Rue's niece. I didn't believe it her at first. I couldn't fathom how someone as malicious and cruel as Glimmer could be even remotely related to the kind woman smiling at me right now.

I can't stand the thought of this kind woman being upset over me. So I offer up the best smile I can muster and reassure her that I'm fine. She sighs and pulls me into a strong embrace and pats my back before disappearing once again to write our notes. The sound of Prim chuckling catches my attention.

**And the Plot thickens :) **

**Ok so not really, but did it shock anyone that the Villian and a Hero were related? No? ok...**

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	4. Chapter 4

**OH MY GOD. I cannot even comprehend how idiotic I am. I re-posted a chapter that I already posted...I'm really sorry you guys. I'm a blonde. But once again thats no excuse. Anyway...it is fixed now. I'll make it up to you guys some how...Promise!**

**Good evening Ladies and Germs! Halloween is approaching quickly...I simply cannot wait. I am a fan of the Freakish. I'm thinking of doing a one shot or two for Halloween...any ideas? Perhaps a Lemony one as well as one without the Lemony goodness? PM me ;)**

**Also, it was brought to my attention in the last chapter that a made a terrible mistake. A typo in which i called Rue a cruel human being. I am sooooo terribly sorry. I dont have a Beta yet...I also know that is not an excuse.**

**So here is another chapter my darlings. Please Enjoy!**

"I found these in the lost and found; they should be about your size…now there is plenty here to choose from so take your time, I'll write you a note for your next class." She smiles brightly and takes Prim's seat beside me while Prim rummages through the pile. Her bright smile fades into a warm maternal grin and she puts her hand on top of mine, forcing me to look her in the eye. "Sweetie, I can't apologize enough for the way Glimmer has been acting. My mother would roll over in her grave if she could see the way her and her mother treat people. My sister was not raised like that." Oh yea, I forgot to mention one tiny detail. Glimmer is Mrs. Rue's niece. I didn't believe it her at first. I couldn't fathom how someone as malicious and cruel as Rue could be even remotely related to the kind woman smiling at me right now.

I can't stand the thought of this kind woman being upset over me. So I offer up the best smile I can muster and reassure her that I'm fine. She sighs and pulls me into a strong embrace and pats my back before disappearing once again to write our notes. The sound of Prim chuckling catches my attention.

"You would be surprised at the things these rich kids lose. I mean seriously! Look! Three pairs of Miss Me jeans, Here are some shirts from Forever 21, and –oh my Gosh– this is it!" She tosses a gray pile of fabric my direction. I unbundle the material to find a grey dress, admittedly beautiful, but not something im likely to wear.

I laugh a short sarcastic laugh and toss the dress back at Prim, she in turn tosses it back, while never breaking eye contact. I raise an eyebrow and hold up the bundle of fabric.

"Prim," I hold the dress up in front of myself, "you cannot be serious."

"Oh but I am. You are going to put that beautiful dress on, you are going to realize how stunning you are, and you are going to like it." To prove her point she shoves me through a door opposite of the one Mrs. Rue left through. The door leads to a bathroom that resembles the ones found in hospital rooms: toilet, sink, full length mirror, and a shower. All separated by a shower curtain right down the middle. Prim pushes me behind the curtain, intending for me to use the shower as a makeshift dressing room.

I know from experience that fighting with Prim is a battle lost before it even begins. So I humor her and put the dress on. It truly is a lovely dress. The dress itself is a medium gray in color. The top of the dress is a structured bodice that appears to be made of a single piece of fabric wrapped around the chest. The skirt is a high low style that flutters when one walks.

It's gorgeous. I don't even want to see myself in it.

I walk out from behind the curtain, converse and all, to see an expectant Prim light up with excitement.

"Yes. Yesyesyes! There is absolutely no way-"

"I am leaving this room with this dress on.

She glares at me. Maybe because I cut her off mid-squeal, or maybe it's because I'm still not in the same boat as her as far as this dress is concerned. She walks towards me and puts her hands on my shoulders.

"Wrong answer sunshine." And with that she swiftly turns, snatches up my clothes and leaves the bathroom.

"What? Prim! Did you seriously just take my clothes?!" I chase after her and try to snatch the articles of clothing from her grasp.

"Yes. Yes I did." She evades me easily, flitting around the room while I stumble after her.

"Why!? Why would you take my clothes!?" she drops the clothes and grips my shoulders again. All humor drains from her face and is replaced with an expression a mother might give her child when trying to make her understand a certain concept.

"This is why." She turns me to face a mirror on the wall and my jaw falls. I don't look like myself. I have a shape. The top flatters my chest. The skirt makes my legs seem longer than usual.

I have hips.

There is no way I can leave this room in this dress.

"There is no way I'm leaving this room in this dress." I make the statement firmly, hoping that Prim will drop the subject.

No Luck.

"Katniss! Why? You look stunning! No one will be able to keep their eyes off of you!" her tone is earnest, but she just doesn't understand.

"Prim that's just it. I try every day of my life to keep a low profile. To go unnoticed and to stay the hell out of dodge." I look at her in all seriousness. I can feel the desperation bubbling up inside of me. "I have been desperately striving for invisibility since sixth grade. That's six years Prim! I'm not going to place a target on my back after six years of trying…and not necessarily succeeding, at invisibility." By now my feelings of desperation are at a full on boil. I feel like pulling my hair out and I subconsciously wonder were the nearest razorblade is. But I shake my hand and shun the thought. I promised myself and Prim that I would never go there.

It's getting harder and harder to keep that promise.

Prim sees the desperation in my eyes and immediately wraps me in tight embrace and I know she understands now.

She helps me out of the dress and tosses me the least gaudy pair of Miss Me jeans and a gray tshirt.

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	5. Chapter 5

***Holds up hands in surrender* Dont shoot! I'm sorry! I can explain...so busy+bad writers block= NO progress.**

**But that is no excuse.**

**This chapter is a bit short because it is actually a very long one split in two. **

**Let us continue...**

A home is a place where you feel wanted. A place you want to come back to. A place you want to come _home_ to. None of this is true about my 'home.'

All of the warmth and love was blown away along with my sanity when the storm that was my father's death hit. My mother changed that day, or maybe I did. I'm not sure. All I know is that things weren't the same. There were no more loving smiles or warm welcomes. To my mother I am simply a heartbreaking reminder of what used to be.

I walk through the door and I'm met by silence. I've come to expect silence. Mother never watches TV or listens to music anymore. Hell, she rarely gets out of bed most days.

I tried at first to be the loving caring daughter I should be, but after years of taking care of what is the equivalent of a semi mobile, moody vegetable every interaction has become rather clinical.

I go change out of my newly found clothes and toss those along with the ones covered in sticky, pink goop into the laundry bin. I go through the routine that has evolved overtime. Get the mail. Check on mother. Do homework. Cook supper.

I search the cabinets and all I find is a box of macaroni and few chicken breasts in the fridge. I put supper on and go through the mail. Bills, bills, college applications, bills. I sigh and drop my hand in my hands.

My family has never been very well off, but at least when dad was alive he and mom made ends meet. But when dad died we lost not only his income…but moms. We made it by off of dad's life insurance for a few months. I know that sounds terrible. But it's true, and when the last check came I tried my hardest to make what we had last…but then the bills piled up. All the money that I could scrounge up went into keeping the house, the electricity, and the water. Around Christmas that year I was walking home, it was snowing hard and I hadn't eaten anything of much substance in a few days. I remember walking past a church. I was woozy and freezing. I saw people coming in and out of the church. Children laughing and loading boxes into vans. I stepped on an icy patch of snow and fell, I decided to lay there, my vision was blurry and I was too weak to get up. I heard laughter coming closer. I remember it sounded so joyful. So carefree. It kept getting closer, and then it just stopped. A heard a feminine gasp followed by "Oh My God Peet! Get over here hurry, this girl needs help." I was lifted up by a strong pair of arms. I looked up to see the face of my rescuer, but all I saw was a pair of piercing blue eyes. To this day I still know nothing else about the boy, except his name is Peet and he has blue eyes.

When I woke up there was a kind eyed woman sitting beside me. She handed me a cup of hot tea and introduced herself as Greasy Sae. She talked to me about my situation and said she would talk to the church and see if she could get me some help.

Within a day or so a check came in the mail with a note saying that the church would send enough for bills and groceries every month.

It's the end of the month and the check hasn't come yet.

I decide to try and move mother out of bed. I walk down the hall and into her room to find her curled up asleep facing the wall opposite to the door. I set on the edge of the bed and reach out to touch her shoulder to wake her.

"I'm awake." Her voice is hollow, as usual.

"Oh, well…the food is almost ready." I stand and start to pull the blanket back so that she can get up, but she stops me. She pulls the blanket back under her chin.

"I'll eat in here tonight."

I sigh. "Mom, it'll do you good to move around some."

She sits up slightly and glares at me. "Katniss. I don't want to get up. I want to eat alone. In bed."

I try to keep calm. It takes all my effort to keep the venom out of my voice. "Mom. Please just come eat then you can go back-"

"Dammit! Katniss what don't you understand! I said I want to eat in here so I'm going to eat in here for God's sake"

She snaps at me, mostly just harsh words. They can get much worse, and they usually lead to an episode where she rambles profanities and slings objects, and eventually ends in tears on the bed. This time is no different. I hear glass shatter followed by silence. This used to scare me, now it's just a sign that the episode is over. She breaks something, and it shocks her out of her haze. She collapses on the bed.

I fix her a plate and a glass of water. I walk in expecting her to be on the bed. Instead she's on her knees by her night stand clutching something to her chest.

I set the plate and cup on the nightstand behind her and kneel down to take what she's clutching. It's the picture we took before dad died. I want nothing more than to curl up beside her and cry. But now is not the time.

I help her off the floor and into the bed. She curls up in a sniveling ball and I mumble her that supper is on the nightstand. I glance at the mess on the floor and sigh.

**And there you have it. A bit...dark. But just a warning then next few chapters arent very cheerful. **

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	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter is short, but there is ALOT of emotional content. **

**WARNING. This chapter may be a trigger for people who have a cutting problem. So please if you need to stop reading, just skip this chapter.**

I walk over to the broom and dust pan I keep in the corner to clean up her messes. I sweep the shards into the pan and pick up the picture off the floor.

As I walk down the hallway I feel my defensive wall of numbness melt away and all of the emotional stabs of the day drive straight into my heart. I drop the glass shards and the picure and sink down ionto the kitchen floor. I cry. No, I sob. I sob until tears are left and dry sobs wrack my body. I find myself close to falling over the edge into hysterics. Flashbacks of Glimmers words and the laughter of my peers send my self-worth spiraling into a deep pit. I feel as thought I'm physically sinking through a hole in the floor.

My sob turn erratic, I get choked and feel as though I'm going to be sick. I scramble to my feet in an effort to make it to the sink and in the process I slip and a large shard of glass slices me across the palm.

I gasp and rush to put my hand over the sink. The gash is a large one that spreads roughly from my pinky across to my thumb, it isn't very deep, but it isn't just a scratch either. I stare at it for a few seconds. The blood paints my hand crimson and splatters small crimson dots in the bottom of the sink. My hand stings and throbs. For a few precious moments everything else disappears. The only pain I feel is the physical, and it is so much easier to deal with than the emotional slices to the heart ive been dealt.

I turn on the water with my uninjured hand and move the faucet over my hand. The crimson washes away down the drain. My hand has grown numb. I pull the first aid box from atop the fridge and wrap my hand.

I sweep up the shards again, but before I throw them away I spot a piece with blood smeared along the edge of it. I pick it up and think. Think of how it felt to escape heartache and how easy it would be to get that relief again.

I need to clear my head.

I dump the shards and stumble down the hall and turn the shower on. I step in and feel the fog washing from my mind. I look down and see the blood swirling down the drain. I feel light headed. I look at the gash in my hand. My stomach lurches and I scramble to the toilet and throw up the contents of my stomach. I go to stand and my arm throbs.

I voit again.

"Not so pathetic now am I?" I look up and see my mother, disheveled and half dressed. We stare at each other for a moment. She walks away.

I cry.

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	7. Chapter 7

**I CANNOT APOLOGIZE ENOUGH. But really you guys, I am sorry for the break between updates. This story just wont come out. I know where I want to go I just can't figure how I want to get there. Please don't think I don't plan on finishing it. I do. It just may take a while.**

**This chapter isn't as intense as far as triggers and such, but it does get intense.**

It's been about a week since the big smoothy incedent. Prim has stuck by my side at all times to help fend off Glimmer. She hasn't been herself lately. She's still overly happy and spunky, but everything she does is a bit, tired. At first I blamed it on long volleyball practices, but then she got to looking a bit pale, and theres a ghost of sadness in her eyes. Barely visible. But there. Every time I ask her what is wrong she smiles and says 'nothing'.

But today when I asked it was different. There were no excuses. No fake smiles. She just gave me a small half smile and told me her mom said I could spend the night tonight if I wanted to. That shocked me. Her mom never lets anyone stay over on school nights. I nodded and said I'd be over at 6:00.

It's 6:03 and I'm knocking on the door.

Mrs. Hawthorne answers. She's smiling, but the same sadness can be seen in her eyes. When I walk in everything seems normal.

Vick and Rory are playing wideo games and laughing at each other. Posy is engrossed in her coloring. Gale is ranting about economy collapsing and running off and living in the woods. Prim is laughing at him and telling him how dense he is. I walk in and Prim waves. Gale turns and smile a mega-watt smile, "Hey Catnip! It's about time you came to see me, I was begining to think you didn't love me anymore!"

I shake my head and give him a side hug, he kisses the top of my head. That's how it is with Gale and I. Comfortable. He's like my brother. I'm like his sister. End of story.

Prim and I make our way up the stairs to her room while we wait on the pizza Mrs. Hawthorne ordered.

"Hey Katniss?" She's painting her nails 'Party Rock Pink.'

"Yes Prim?" I'm picking 'Party Rock Pink' off of my toes.

"Remember when we were young and we had sooo much fun playing dressup?"

I can't help but laugh, "Prim, you had fun. I was your life size Barbie."

I smile at her and she rolls her eyes and sticks out her tongue.

"I just thought it would be fun to do it agian, like old times." She smiles that smile that means I could fight her, but it would be a losing battle.

So I nod.

And she squeals in delight and pulls me from her bed and into the chair in front of her dresser.

I have to admit, it is kind of fun. Rue brushed and curled my hair. We laughed when she teased it and I looked lilke someone from Jersy Shore. We ate pizza. Lots of pizza. Prim spews out makeup tips as she brushes and buffs away at my face. Life feels easy again. Like when all we had to worry about was cooties and cookies. I'm reminded why we're best freinds. We fit. We balance each other. It's just easy.

When Prim tells me it's time to find something for me to wear I scoff.

"What?" She casts me a look.

"Prim. Please. There is no way I can fit into any of your clothes."

"Katniss. Please. Trust me. Stand up and close your eyes. No peeking."

I sigh and stand. Prim strips me of my outer clothes and slips something over my head. There's a soft zzziiip, and I'm being shoved into the chair again. I yelp and my eyes pop oben, but I'm qickly instructed to 'keep 'em closed.' Prim slips my old Vans off and slips what I assume are heels onto my feet. She helps me to my feet and I wobble a litte, but am able to walk the short distance she leads me.

"Okay. Open."

I do. And my jaw drops.

It's the dress. The one from the nurses office.

"Why Prim? Why the hell would you put me in this dress."

"Because! You needed to see it Katniss."

"See what? That grey makes me look like an elephant? Thanks Prim." I kick the heels off and shove past her.

"No Katniss! So you could see that-" she grabs my hand and I hiss and jerk away form her. The same hand with the gash that I've been trying to hide. I've worn fingerless gloves or long sleeves every day to cover the bandage. Today was fingerless gloves.

"Katniss..."

"No Prim it's not what you think-"

"Katniss. Take off the glove."

I stand there.

"Take. Off. The glove."

I pull it off and when she sees the bandage her eyes meet mine, full of tears and anger. She grabs my wrist.

"This." She points at my hand, "I'm trying to show you that this, isn't worth it Katniss." She drops my hand and sits on the end of her bed. "God Katniss! I just wish you could see the person that I see. That we all see! The people that matter." By now she's crying. "It breaks my heart Katniss. You are so beautiful. So kind. You have so much value as a human being. But you refuse to see it." She turns me to the mirror again. "This." She picks up my hand. "This is not an answer Katniss. You promised me you wouldn't. We've had this talk. I'm trying to show you the wonderful person you are Katnis, but you won't open your eyes, and I'm running out of time." She stops suddenly. Her back turned to me, head down. I can see her shaking. She's crying again.

"Prim...Wha-what are you talking about?" I can't seem to make myself move. I feel like my blood has been replaced with ice water. There's a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Kat, I went to the doctor the other day about my legs..."

"But those were just shin splints. The coach said-"

"Katniss they weren't shin spints." Her eyes are so broken. Her face is red from tears and emotion.

"Prim...what are you saying."

"I have cancer Katniss. Leukemia."

**Not really much to say here. **

**Reveiw please darlings.**


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